and now, the weather - a welcome to nightvale fanmix // listen on 8tracks
"Close your eyes, dear listeners, and imagine sand stretching as far as the eye can see. Feel the sun’s rays on your face, blissful heat scorching, burning- this is the moment you remember you forgot to put on suncream this morning.
Imagine a voice calling to you from across the wasteland that you and you alone can hear. And it leads you here, to this place full of the unimaginable and incomprehensible.
You descend into madness as your mind cannot fathom what you are seeing - hours later you are caught by the Sheriff’s Secret Police trying to organise a colony of ants into formation, and then screaming at them in Ancient Greek when they won’t listen.
Dear, sweet tourist. Everyone knows ants are only fluent in Ancient Hebrew.
Welcome to Nightvale. And now, the weather…”
Hogwarts Quidditch designs. These were fun! Don’t know what to do with them first.
Sing me the song of Viking Chief Astrid and her husband Hiccup the Dragon Rider. Because, god, wanna talk about a powerhouse? You have the steady rock Astrid who keeps the village alive and running, and you have rushing wind of Hiccup discovering the world and I just.
I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT, and honestly i just don’t know
except for a few notable differences, Wizarding Culture (in britain, at least) seems to be just like Muggle Culture: hogwarts has a board of governors, there’s an elected (prime) minister, the government kinda works the same way (parliament/wizengamot???), weddings follow a similar format, the aristocrats/upper classes are rich and white, people go hard for sports. so i kind of always assumed that queer wizarding culture (/cultural attitudes towards queer/trans wizards) would be just like Real World culture/attitudes, but slightly wizardish
so yeah idk, but i do have a few headcanons drawn from like a decade of reading hp fic and some wishful thinking:
- special spells that somehow identify you to other queer wizards (kind of like a green carnation in the lapel, but MAGICAL)
- bars/clubs/hostels/safe spaces that are invisible to cishet wizards in the way that the leaky cauldron is invisible to muggles
- trans people using localised glamours to change how they present outwardly to suit them
- a trans potions prodigy developing a tweakable version of polyjuice that you only have to drink once a day
- speaking of, a gender neutral word for witch/wizard (i’ve heard “wix” thrown around which, to be honest, is bloody adorable)
- purebloods being far less tolerant of queerness because of the whole Must Produce An Heir thing
- subsequently queer purebloods marry each other to keep their families off their backs and reside in different wings of their mansions with myriad live-in lovers (you fucking KNOW who this is about)
- the pronoun buttons
- all queer kids at hogwarts know about the room of requirement because it’s somewhere where you can go to snog where absolutely no one can possibly walk in on you like come on
- the girls’ dormitory stairs let transgirls walk up them
- because wizarding weddings aren’t religious and the ceremonies have always used gender neutral language, marriage equality is a non-issue and anyone can get married if they want (and have always been able to, even if they had to keep it on the DL)
tbh my favourite thing to do is think about wizards and queer muggle culture colliding. like imagine remus and sirius hearing that the 1980 criminal justice act has decriminalised sex between men over the age of 21 in scotland and taking a trip to hogsmeade for remus’s 21st so they can shag LEGALLY. imagine remus volunteering at an aids hospice. imagine someone getting draco completely and utterly addicted to the uk queer as folk in ‘99 and subsequent slytherin outings to canal st in manchester. imagine pansy parkinson: lipstick lesbian. imagine dean and seamus having a joint wizard wedding/civil partnership in 2004 so they’re legal in BOTH cultures
so yeah to reiterate: NO IDEA REALLY but i hope it’s nice
#what a good question what a lovely thing to spend all evening thinking about#really i just can’t stop picturing harry in really naff early 90s clothes in a gay club listening to shitty house music #taking drugs and getting sucked off to ‘born slippy’ #hahahaha oh god
OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT
THIS IS MY FAVORITE THOR PAGE OF ALL TIME
when people upset the friends
*sets entire english language on fire*
remember when Andy scored among the highest ever on the aptitude test for becoming a police officer but then was denied because the interview showed that he was too kind and trusting and empathetic to be a cop